By Grahame (Aunty Jack) Bond and Jim Burnett Boy’s Own McBeth toured Australia and the US from 1979 until 1982. It was the longest running Australian written musical ever..staged with more than 600 performances and was only eclipsed in the 1990’s by The Boy From Oz. What the critics said.... “A combination of Welcome Back Kotter, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Shakespeare in Rock n Roll”  (Sunday Telegraph)  “The Marx Brothers and the Goons”  ( The Bulletin) “Explosively funny” ( Canberra Times.)  “Full Marks” ( Sunday Mail) The Story Terry Shakespeare is really the school old boy – he’s 42. He’s been in fifth form for 26 years  and his two children Dopey and SS  are in the same class – but he’s not silly it’s all a tax dodge.  When Terry was 15 he married the tuckshop lady – sadly she died during childbirth and in her Will bequested that   $10,000 inheritance  go the school to set up the ‘Shakespeare Literary Foundation’. The Foundation guarantees free board and lodging for  Terry Shakespeare and his sons until they have finished their education. So naturally Terry keeps failing. The school  becomes desperate to kick him out.  Under threat from a neighbouring Girls school  it hatches a plot to get rid of Shakespeare.  If he passes they can finally boot him out . So they make him direct the school play Macbeth.  But he’s determined to even botch this up. In an act of anarchy he casts the dumbest boy in the school , the school captain – Charles Hunt as Duncan, Banquo and Lady Macduff – characters who have one thing in common – they all die. Naturally the cast get bored and play cricket during the play, and sing as a finale the most outrageously funny song. Out Damn Spot – Get out Damn Spot ( the Dog) Song: Spot Song Sound Sample in MP3 FORMAT or OGG FORMAT Elston: MACBETH HAD A DOG YOUNG SPOT WAS HIS NAME HIS MASTER’S OWN PRIDE AND JOY HE WAS NEVER THE SAME WHEN MACBETH WENT AWAY HE TRIED EVERY TRICK TO ANOY Terry & McBeth: POOR LADY MACBETH SHE HATED DAMN SPOT SHE WANTED HIM PUT AWAY HE KILLED ALL THE POT PLANTS HE MURDERED THE LAWN HE DROWNED THE FISH IN THE MOAT, THEY SAY (an actor in a dog costume enters and sings howling harmony) All:   EVERYONE SING OUT DAMN SPOT GET OUT, DAMN SPOT LADY MACBETH WOULD SAY HE’D JUST ROLL ON HIS BACK AND PEE AT THE MOON PASSING THE TIME OF DAY Terry:    SHE TRIED CORKS IN HIS HMMMM STUFFED CORKS UP HIS HMMMM PUT CORKS IN HIS HMMMM AS WELL HE WENT TO THE TOWER AND STARTED TO DRINK AND SPOT’S STOMACH JUST SWELLED AND SWELLED (dog exits, there is a huge explosion backstage) Elston:     NOW THERE’S SPOT ON THE CEILING SPOT ON THE FLOOR All:  SPOT’S ON HER HANDS, THEY SAY HOW COULD SHE KNOW YOUNG SPOT WOULD EXPLODE AND LEAVE HIS MARK ON THE CASTLE THAT DAY IS HE IN HEAVEN, OR IS HE IN HELL THE LADY’S NOT GAME TO SAY SHE WALKS IN HER SLEEP AND WRITES LETTERS TO GOD SINCE POOR SPOT EXPLODED THAT DAY Song: Fair is Foul Sound Sample in MP3 FORMAT or OGG FORMAT About Grahame ( Aunty Jack ) Bond… Grahame was recently voted  in a radio documentary Australian comedian of the century. The Aunty Jack Show was one of Australia's earliest and best loved TV comedy series. Starring a motor-cycling tranvestite boxer, it ran from 1972 to 1973 on Australia's national broadcaster ABC-TV. Under threat of having their "bloody arms ripped off" if they didn't, Australians of the early seventies had little option but to tune in each week to their favourite Aunt. The Aunty Jack Show Website 1 The Aunty Jack Show Website 2 Boy’s Own mcBeth is  available in two editions. CLASSIC : original cast of 7 plus optional  chorus. Or EXTENDED: 12 principals good parts for boys and girls plus large chorus. Characters Terry Shakespeare Year 11: A 42 year old student, father and SP bookmaker, whose plan is to stay at school forever. Terry is totally irresponsible and has made a career of failing his exams in style. .Shelley Shaw Shakespeare  aka S.S. Year 12: Is one of Terry’s twin sons. He’s 28 and still can’t count to ten, mainly due to his stutter. He is bright, sensitive and talented, but he cleverly hides these attributes by playing the clown for his father.  THIS CAN BE PLAYED BY A FEMALE. Rudyard Shakespeare aka Dopey Year 5: Is one of Shakespeare’s greatest tragedies. He has the attention span of a cocker spaniel and lives in his own world of fast food, music and video games. Failing comes naturally to Dopey. Clifford Tobias- Headmaster: At 39, looks older than his years, thanks to the antics of Shakespeare and sons. Cliff is a lackey to the school board, because he fears losing his position. Ronnie Elston-Drama Master: Is a woman who dresses as a man to hold down her job, at this all male private school. Ronnie or Veronica is in constant fear of being found out. Morrie McBeth In truth, Marie McBeth is a 14 girl, forced by her father to impersonate a boy and attend his old school, Dunsinane. She is intelligent, conscientious and sensitive and for all these attributes is shunned by her classmates. Charles Hunt-School Captain: A bully, a crawler and a bore, he is the butt end of Terry’s jokes. The only reason Charles Hunt has made School Captain is because of the influence of his father, the Chairman of the school board. Mr Hunt: Property developer, pillar of the community and archenemy of Terry Shakespeare.  Mr Hunt has never forgiven Terry for humiliating him in Year 5 when they were students together. He sees his son Charles as a future leader. Mrs Hunt: Local councillor and socialite, Daphne Hunt is a realist and knows her husband and son are idiots. It’s her ambition to open a Ladies’ finishing school in her electorate. Mr McBeth: Jack McBeth is a cold calculating chauvinist, who has recently joined the board to monitor his daughter’s progress. Miss Graymalkin: A voice on the PA system. Orchestra: 12 part. Royalty: A.